A hole is in my heart and although I know Cassandra is always with me spiritually, we all know that is not what was "suppose to be"! God gives us all free will, some use it for evil and some use it for good. Cassandra used hers for good always but someone that used his for evil took her away from us!!!! It is not what God planned, it is what happened and we do our best to live on as she would want us to. I forgive them, not for taking my Sunshine, but for being lost souls and never being taught how to love themselves or others.
God, our spiritual guides teaches us to forgive...Because it is the right thing to do, so that we do not allow evil or fear to root in our hearts , forgiveness allows us to be able to continue to live life whole and be able to love others.
Every moment of every day, I miss Cassandra so very much my heart literally aches. Do not ever think that if you see me smiling that it means I am "ok now" with Cassandra's murder, I will never be ok with her being taken from us. It just means I am doing my best to love and live as my Sunshine wants me to.
Thank you to everyone that has shown Chel and I love to help us hold on and get through this hell on earth. PTSD is real and I fight feelings of reliving my shock and grief each time I hear someone else is now suffering the pain I feel. I fight the knowledge that anyone can really walk up to anyone at anytime and end their life just because they choose evil. I fight allowing fear by knowing for a fact that our souls do continue on and we all remain together eternally.
Healing:
We can heal from the shock (eventually) , we can heal by being able to forgive. We can heal by opening ourselves up to our loved ones spiritually. Cassandra continuously shows us that she remains with us on spiritual level and knowing spiritually we are together eternally is what keeps me waking up each day and focusing on the things I am grateful for.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
and the Wisdom to know the difference
