Saturday, March 18, 2017

Do you follow your intuition?

Instinct. Gut feeling. A strong "knowing"…

I never trusted myself when I was younger due to abused childhood and those above me telling me I was stupid, worthless, never amount to anything.  Those messages led me to believe that I could not trust my instincts.  I learned as I became an adult that if I had listened to my instincts that I would of been smarter than any of those people telling me I was stupid!  Looking back I realized that my original gut instinct was always right, I learned to trust my instinct.  My daughters were raised to trust their instincts and to follow them always.

Whatever you choose to call it, your intuition is a naturally built-in GPS within you that always seeks to guide you in the right direction in life.

For example:

- Have you ever had that icky feeling that you were somehow compromising yourself or your integrity in a relationship or a friendship, or a work situation??

- Have you ever been in an argument and you heard that little voice inside your head say “Are you sure you REALLY want to say that?” right before you’re about to say something that you know you’ll probably regret later?

- Have you ever said something like “I just need to be true to myself” to explain why you decided to take a particular action in your life?

This is your intuition speaking to you!

When you allow your intuition to guide your thoughts and actions, you feel GOOD. You feel whole, complete, fulfilled and on track.

You don’t sweat the small stuff and you feel an added boost of confidence that you know you’ll do the right thing for yourself.

If you listen to your intuition and act accordingly, you'll find that it's always there to help guide you in making choices that are aligned with your highest self…

And this is true whether the choices you’re making are related to business, love, relationships, money, health or any other area of your life.

Tune into it, trust it and it will never lead you astray :)

How often do you listen to your intuition?

Sunday, February 19, 2017

We forgot our priorities

You see in the old days when Ozzie and Harriet - or for those too young- the fifties, When Mom stayed home, an important part of that was the quality time with our children and the constant being able to model and teach understanding of feelings and compassion.  That is what Mom's were so wonderfully known for, being able to give their their children love, compassion, being there to teach the child how to give that to their siblings and other children , explain why they feel the way they do and to understand why others are feeling or behaving as they do. Good Mom's were naturals, guiding their children along the way teaching life skills needed to grow up someday to be mature adults that can live in society as a fully functioning healthy human being that cares and gives to their community.  The world changed and became more rushed , stressed and no time for anything most tragically our children, where else would they learn those most important traits in life?  ( I'm not saying we need to go back to all mom's at home , I never was able to do that emotionally! I'm not saying all mom's were so loving-LOL some were evil, probable because they were stuck at home :)  )

Schools teach Reading , Writing , Math and Science.  Parents were meant to RAISE their children guide them, teach them life skills and how to be social , have manners, be tolerable, considerate, compassionate, not just provide the roof , food and STUFF.

 As you all know , my 24 year old Cassandra , "Soleil Radieux"   was murdered April 17, 2015.  Next week I find out if the trial is finally happening in March , which will be just one month short of her two year mark of them murdering her.   Today, through our POMC site,  I got a message from a friend of a Mom of another 24 year old murdered here in Las Vegas (strangled in her own home and her 3 yr old left alone with her dead body). Reaching out to us for resources to help her friend.    I also work in detox house where only 10 percent of the clients have a chance of staying off drugs after they leave.  My life seems filled with hopelessness yet I see hope still surrounding me.  

I Pray for everyone to find a way to start raising a new generation of kids, where we are not forgetting so many out in the cold and they don't get dropped through the cracks - never learning about how to deal with their own feelings and develop compassion!!!!  Maybe we need to teach America itself the BALANCE of work / life and then parents how to deal with their own feelings first? The most important part is remembering that if we bring a child into this world then please be dedicated to that child and make that child your priority! Being a parent is a selfless life, find the Balance you need to be able to give that beautiful soul your quality time and teach them how and why they are so unique and special!!!! 

Some of you may give up or feel hopeless because you think you can't change the whole world and this whole world is messed up!!!  Not true on either case, Each person can change the world by NOT CONFORMING to the world and BEING the change you wish to see happen!  

Peace, Love and Sunshine Always

Monday, February 13, 2017

Understand the perceptions of the other person

“One of the best ways of becoming an effective parent—or, for that matter, an effective human being—is to understand the perceptions of other people, to be able to “get into their world.” ― Jane Nelsen, Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child

This has been my gift in life.  I even had a therapist tell me that she had never met anyone that had the ability to put themself in others shoes as well as I do.  In my lifetime , I would forgive others by trying to understand things in their perception.  We don't always know what kind of life someone else has had or what they are going through in their personal life.  Too many times I hear others judging others before they even have a clue of who the other person is! Saddens my soul to see such abrupt judgement and lack of compassion. 

When we look at others as souls rather than physical then we look further and deeper , not just by what we see but what our soul feels.  Look beyond, try to see why someone may be reacting to you the way they are.  I just watched a great positive parenting webinar where she taught me so much and I already thought I was a positive parent!   I suggest anyone to look up this webinar on facebook.  Thank you Amy! 

Amy McCready
Positive Parenting Solutions

I alwarys would look at my children and try to look at life as they see it.  I will always treat children and all people the way I want to be treated and to the best of my ability how I can understand their perceptions.  We should always keep in mind our children' buckets the main to keep full daily are "attention" and "control".  I had understood that I wanted attention and could not stand that I felt I had no control at all in my childhood.  While raising my girls, I made sure they had lots of loving attention and I did my best to teach them they had control in their life, so I raised them with giving them decisions even as young as babies deciding what flavor baby food they wanted. Cassandra always liked sweet potatoes.   Teaching choices and the freedom, power how those choices effect them from young ages, helps them to think when in middle school and high school when faced with life changing choices. Teaching them choices and about their own control, may save their life someday!  

 While working with Drug addicts I learned that they got into severe addiction at young ages due to never feeling they had any choices in life, no control and no attention.  These buckets never got filled.  Let's be aware that our children need positive attention more than things and to be given control of their life choices so they realize THEY CHOOSE if they get rewards or not. Therefore learning they have control over the concequences of thier actions.  Parents need to stop the all control act and the "because I said so" you are driving your children to feel like prisoners and rebel, not to understand how to grow into adults where they will eventually have choices.

 We love our children and want the best for them- let's do what is best for them and put as much effort into raising them as we put into our jobs!  Our children are our most precious gifts and we need to learn how to raise them as such. 

Monday, January 2, 2017

What makes a successful Life Coach?

It's YOUR entire life, how you overcome obstacles, how you shine your light through good times and bad.  It's Your faith in God and your will to follow His guidance. Knowing how to meditate and be still to know yourself and calculate your next move.  How you look for the higher purpose in everyday and every interaction, as you live life to the fullest. 

Sometimes people forget on this journey in coaching that it's everything you've done in your life that makes you successful as a coach.  You don't just wake up and become a coach overnight.

You take everything you've done in your life, the challenges you've faced, businesses you've managed or owned, organizations you've worked in, your struggles, your successes, EVERYTHING in your personal life and career and roll that into whatever you're doing next with a smile on your face and love in your heart toward all that you encounter. 

I believe we each have a purpose and a gift to share! My desire is to help each person I meet to come closer to following that purpose and sharing their gift. 

Peace Love Sunshine Always-

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Bio, Mission and Copyright

Carol Kirkum is a passionate advocate for people that want to stand in their own.  She encourages them to use their own VOICE to establish their own POWER and CREATE their own life.

 As a Life Coach, Author and Speaker that graduated West Allegheny High ,class of 1978 , she grew her self worth while living in Las Vegas, NV for thirty eight years and is now will be moving back to the beautiful suburbs of Pittsburgh, PA.  Carol is daily helping others to grow within their own self worth.


 Carol has worked with clients that include moms, adult addicts, teenagers, other Parents / siblings of Murdered Children , Victim advocates. . By working with people to develop their unique strengths, she thrives when she sees her clients transform and make positive impacts in the world. -

 Carol now focuses on Youth, Pre-teen and Teenagers- We must motivate students to change from the inside-out by teaching positive character traits like respect, responsibility, and self-esteem.

 After Carol's daughter Cassandra was murdered at the age of 24, Carol sought spiritual help and her spirit guides which includes her daughter Cassandra , informed her that: 

 "You are outstanding at what you do and determined to positively impact as many lives as you can. This is your heart’s desire, your mission, and your life’s purpose!
You have the priceless gift of being able to help others break through their blocks and create the lives they truly want and deserve.
And what you want the most is to offer your gift to as many people as possible.
Because after all… what are your gifts and talents worth if you’re not actively using them to make the impact you know you could make? To change the lives you know you could change? And to create the impact you know you could create…

The following are ways that Carol plans on accomplishing that by sharing her experience strength and hope..... For those that do not know what "Soleil Radieux" means to Carol...Her daughter Cassandra was a artist and fashion designer, she signed her online art work and Store by name "Soliel Radieux"  Meaning Bright, Sunshine.  Her nickname from pre-birth was Sunshine.  That name is now Carol's way of continuing to shine Cassandra's light. 

 © 2016 Carol Kirkum 
"Soleil Radieux's Healing"  Certified Life Coaching

(Goal Summer 2017) © 2017 Carol Kirkum ,Author 
 "Soleil Radieux's Healing Momma"
Break the cycles of childhood abuse, sexual abuse, trauma, addiction

( Goal Fall 2017 ) Speak at  Elementary, Middle/Jr high schools Allegheny County School District PA
 © 2017 Carol Kirkum ,
 Certified Life Coach. Author & Speaker
"Soleil Radieux's Healing Momma"

Keep your eyes posted for Carol's next teachings here on this Blog, coming soon website  and when you see her in person
 you will come a little closer to realizing that we are all spiritual beings having a physical experience.

Love Peace Sunshine Always

Monday, December 26, 2016

Frequently asked questions

1) What is the difference between therapy vs Coaching:
Life Coaching and Therapy are not the same though they oftentimes overlap. Life Coaching is not medical treatment. The focus of coaching is on “the now,” development of strengths, and co-creation of external solutions to overcome barriers, learn new skills and implement them.
A Therapist makes diagnoses, explores the roots of problems, seeks to bring about healing and explores “the why.” If you are concerned your teenager needs a therapist, feel free to be in contact and I can refer you to a trusted professional in the area.
For a more detailed breakdown on the differences between therapy and coaching, please feel free to contact me via this blog or facebook page: 
 2) Is coaching covered by insurance?
 Life Coaching is more of a Holistic treatment and is not considered medical treatment, therefore there is no insurance coverage for this service.
3) Is Coaching for all ages?
Yes,  I became a coach for the purpose of reaching Tweens!  I worked at a drug rehab treatment center for six years and started to feel as though by time clients reached me in treatment , for most this was too late.  I realized that if I could reach Tweens before the childhood bullying , abuse , trauma took them over- I would have more of a chance to help them transform their thinking to overcome anything in life and not head to feelings that they want to numb with drugs and alcohol or worse contemplate suicide over!
Please seek help with your tween and realize that although they seem difficult to get to open up, they do open up to those that are not their parent.  Allow that person to be someone you can trust to guide them to a healthy way of thinking and resolving their problems.  

Sunday, December 18, 2016

Pro-peace, love & Sunshine

Mother Theresa said she would not be apart of any ANTI- anything.  Invite her to a PRO- anything and she would be there!!!!

I plan on keeping my book, life coaching and speaker campaign based on her words!   There are books, speakers out there talking to our children about anti-drugs, anti-bullying, anti-sextrafficking etc. I want to change that since like Mother Theresa said, people are apt to join pro movements rather than Anti movements.

 Anti- is like being told NO rather than YES.  When I was raising my two little girls and they got to that age of walking and picking things up that were Mommy's nic-nacs , I would not yell no don't touch that....I would go over to them and hand them a YES toy first then say YES play with this and get them to take toy.  As they got older I was forced to use word NO but I would not do that without giving them the YES choice.

I believe that teenagers will not hear the anti message since they are tired of NO already.  When I tell them what YES is, they may be more apt to listen.

What do you think?