Sunday, February 19, 2017

We forgot our priorities

You see in the old days when Ozzie and Harriet - or for those too young- the fifties, When Mom stayed home, an important part of that was the quality time with our children and the constant being able to model and teach understanding of feelings and compassion.  That is what Mom's were so wonderfully known for, being able to give their their children love, compassion, being there to teach the child how to give that to their siblings and other children , explain why they feel the way they do and to understand why others are feeling or behaving as they do. Good Mom's were naturals, guiding their children along the way teaching life skills needed to grow up someday to be mature adults that can live in society as a fully functioning healthy human being that cares and gives to their community.  The world changed and became more rushed , stressed and no time for anything most tragically our children, where else would they learn those most important traits in life?  ( I'm not saying we need to go back to all mom's at home , I never was able to do that emotionally! I'm not saying all mom's were so loving-LOL some were evil, probable because they were stuck at home :)  )

Schools teach Reading , Writing , Math and Science.  Parents were meant to RAISE their children guide them, teach them life skills and how to be social , have manners, be tolerable, considerate, compassionate, not just provide the roof , food and STUFF.

 As you all know , my 24 year old Cassandra , "Soleil Radieux"   was murdered April 17, 2015.  Next week I find out if the trial is finally happening in March , which will be just one month short of her two year mark of them murdering her.   Today, through our POMC site,  I got a message from a friend of a Mom of another 24 year old murdered here in Las Vegas (strangled in her own home and her 3 yr old left alone with her dead body). Reaching out to us for resources to help her friend.    I also work in detox house where only 10 percent of the clients have a chance of staying off drugs after they leave.  My life seems filled with hopelessness yet I see hope still surrounding me.  

I Pray for everyone to find a way to start raising a new generation of kids, where we are not forgetting so many out in the cold and they don't get dropped through the cracks - never learning about how to deal with their own feelings and develop compassion!!!!  Maybe we need to teach America itself the BALANCE of work / life and then parents how to deal with their own feelings first? The most important part is remembering that if we bring a child into this world then please be dedicated to that child and make that child your priority! Being a parent is a selfless life, find the Balance you need to be able to give that beautiful soul your quality time and teach them how and why they are so unique and special!!!! 

Some of you may give up or feel hopeless because you think you can't change the whole world and this whole world is messed up!!!  Not true on either case, Each person can change the world by NOT CONFORMING to the world and BEING the change you wish to see happen!  

Peace, Love and Sunshine Always

Monday, February 13, 2017

Understand the perceptions of the other person

“One of the best ways of becoming an effective parent—or, for that matter, an effective human being—is to understand the perceptions of other people, to be able to “get into their world.” ― Jane Nelsen, Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child

This has been my gift in life.  I even had a therapist tell me that she had never met anyone that had the ability to put themself in others shoes as well as I do.  In my lifetime , I would forgive others by trying to understand things in their perception.  We don't always know what kind of life someone else has had or what they are going through in their personal life.  Too many times I hear others judging others before they even have a clue of who the other person is! Saddens my soul to see such abrupt judgement and lack of compassion. 

When we look at others as souls rather than physical then we look further and deeper , not just by what we see but what our soul feels.  Look beyond, try to see why someone may be reacting to you the way they are.  I just watched a great positive parenting webinar where she taught me so much and I already thought I was a positive parent!   I suggest anyone to look up this webinar on facebook.  Thank you Amy! 

Amy McCready
Positive Parenting Solutions

I alwarys would look at my children and try to look at life as they see it.  I will always treat children and all people the way I want to be treated and to the best of my ability how I can understand their perceptions.  We should always keep in mind our children' buckets the main to keep full daily are "attention" and "control".  I had understood that I wanted attention and could not stand that I felt I had no control at all in my childhood.  While raising my girls, I made sure they had lots of loving attention and I did my best to teach them they had control in their life, so I raised them with giving them decisions even as young as babies deciding what flavor baby food they wanted. Cassandra always liked sweet potatoes.   Teaching choices and the freedom, power how those choices effect them from young ages, helps them to think when in middle school and high school when faced with life changing choices. Teaching them choices and about their own control, may save their life someday!  

 While working with Drug addicts I learned that they got into severe addiction at young ages due to never feeling they had any choices in life, no control and no attention.  These buckets never got filled.  Let's be aware that our children need positive attention more than things and to be given control of their life choices so they realize THEY CHOOSE if they get rewards or not. Therefore learning they have control over the concequences of thier actions.  Parents need to stop the all control act and the "because I said so" you are driving your children to feel like prisoners and rebel, not to understand how to grow into adults where they will eventually have choices.

 We love our children and want the best for them- let's do what is best for them and put as much effort into raising them as we put into our jobs!  Our children are our most precious gifts and we need to learn how to raise them as such.