Monday, February 13, 2017

Understand the perceptions of the other person

“One of the best ways of becoming an effective parent—or, for that matter, an effective human being—is to understand the perceptions of other people, to be able to “get into their world.” ― Jane Nelsen, Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler--Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child

This has been my gift in life.  I even had a therapist tell me that she had never met anyone that had the ability to put themself in others shoes as well as I do.  In my lifetime , I would forgive others by trying to understand things in their perception.  We don't always know what kind of life someone else has had or what they are going through in their personal life.  Too many times I hear others judging others before they even have a clue of who the other person is! Saddens my soul to see such abrupt judgement and lack of compassion. 

When we look at others as souls rather than physical then we look further and deeper , not just by what we see but what our soul feels.  Look beyond, try to see why someone may be reacting to you the way they are.  I just watched a great positive parenting webinar where she taught me so much and I already thought I was a positive parent!   I suggest anyone to look up this webinar on facebook.  Thank you Amy! 

Amy McCready
Positive Parenting Solutions

I alwarys would look at my children and try to look at life as they see it.  I will always treat children and all people the way I want to be treated and to the best of my ability how I can understand their perceptions.  We should always keep in mind our children' buckets the main to keep full daily are "attention" and "control".  I had understood that I wanted attention and could not stand that I felt I had no control at all in my childhood.  While raising my girls, I made sure they had lots of loving attention and I did my best to teach them they had control in their life, so I raised them with giving them decisions even as young as babies deciding what flavor baby food they wanted. Cassandra always liked sweet potatoes.   Teaching choices and the freedom, power how those choices effect them from young ages, helps them to think when in middle school and high school when faced with life changing choices. Teaching them choices and about their own control, may save their life someday!  

 While working with Drug addicts I learned that they got into severe addiction at young ages due to never feeling they had any choices in life, no control and no attention.  These buckets never got filled.  Let's be aware that our children need positive attention more than things and to be given control of their life choices so they realize THEY CHOOSE if they get rewards or not. Therefore learning they have control over the concequences of thier actions.  Parents need to stop the all control act and the "because I said so" you are driving your children to feel like prisoners and rebel, not to understand how to grow into adults where they will eventually have choices.

 We love our children and want the best for them- let's do what is best for them and put as much effort into raising them as we put into our jobs!  Our children are our most precious gifts and we need to learn how to raise them as such. 

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